Who Will Save Me From Me?

I entered a room that felt so unfamiliar. "What am I doing here? Hello! Is anyone here?" A few steps away stood a victim tied up, and the one who held the victim bound was standing behind, ensuring the victim's eyes were covered with a sack.

"Hey! Let go of her!" The one who held her bound looked up, and it seemed like I was looking in a mirror. The sack was removed from the victim's head, and again, it seemed like I was looking in a mirror.

"What sorcery is this?" I thought out loud. The me that held me bound scoffed. "Who do you think hinders your growth the most? Who do you think is your worst enemy? Don't you know it has always been self, our flesh, the old man?"

"No! That can't be. The devil, demons, principalities, and powers, rulers of darkness, and so on. They are the ones I wrestle against."

"True, but in this battle between you and them, you can give them the upper hand. How naive can you be? I am your worst enemy. I know your strengths and weaknesses. I know things that can make you fall easily, that's why I stir up fleshy desires."

I looked at myself, bound by chains. "Lustful desires of the flesh, pride of life, lust of the eyes." One way or the other, I could resonate with this. I couldn't keep my eyes away from me. The limitations, the thoughts, the addiction, the bitterness, the ego, the lust... I allowed it.

The other me continued, "I'm glad you're beginning to see. There's nothing you can do. You cannot harm yourself."

"You have already been crucified with Christ." I turned to see another version of me, but in a bright regalia. "For he that's in Christ is a new creature; the old self has passed away, and a new self is birthed."

"Stop trying to feed that nonsense into my head. Dear me, listen to me! If we're a new creature, why do we still have the desires and thoughts we've had forever?" 

"Dear me, listen to me. Self has been crucified with Christ, but you still have to live in the tent of a body until Christ calls you home. Of course, the old self will want to entice you, but it's left to you not to consent. Don't openly show the devil where the keys to your heart (house) are kept. Guard your heart with all diligence, transform your mind, uphold your salvation with fear and trembling." 

"Nonsense! You cannot hide or run from me. You were born a sinner; in sin did your mother conceive you. You're already condemned." 

"There is therefore now no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus. Come boldly unto the throne of grace that you may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." 

"You cannot run from me. Dear me, who will save me from me? Enjoy life while you still can, live a double life, be on fire only during the gathering of brethren, go days without studying the word, keep sleeping even when it's your time to pray. Body no be firewood." 

"I have already been saved from me." I finally found my voice. 

"All I have to do is crucify self daily, avoid all your suggestions, intentionally build discipline with diligence and consistency, persevere till I become like the one who defeated you, surround myself with things that do not exalt the flesh nor trigger any fleshly desire. I am free in Christ! And whoever the Lord has declared free is free indeed. 

I saw myself getting loosed as I spoke. "You'll surely backslide!" "Though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again. Yes, I know my shortcomings, but what you're forgetting, me, is that He died because of it. He walked on earth and died because of it, so He understands. I do not have a high priest who does not understand my weaknesses. The only thing is, I'll become more intentional to go to Him once you start sending signals. It was because I paid deaf ears to your signs that you were able to tie me up. But guess what, it's part of my growth and story to tell. 

Finally, I am free indeed. I didn't need anyone else to save me from me; God already did through His Son. I just forget most times when I'm fighting my urges.I went to hug me, and me came in for the hug too. 

Self stood there thinking of more ways to strike, but till then, I will study the word, pray, and do everything to grow in the Spirit, whether self likes it or not.

But will I stand strong for long?

Watch out for me.